"Two Despairs: The Unread Letter"

Today, by chance, I attended a mass at the church I started visiting 32 years ago in a state of despair.

32 years ago, in despair and having abandoned atheism, I knocked on the church door, guided by Paul's letter to the Romans.

Now, after 32 years, I see myself without a sign, as if, despite continuing to preach, the church divides, and like Paul, arrested and thrown into prison, I overlap with him as he writes his letters.

From the outside, the situation seems desperate, but Paul was not in despair.

Because he had met and conversed with God, continued to walk the world, and lived on, he wrote letters illuminated by the moonlight in his cell until the end.

Those letters have illuminated many people up to the present day.

And I too have conversed and traveled through many worlds, so it's alright if results do not come, or more precisely,

I continue to work and devise ways as if to bring about results, but it doesn’t matter if they don’t come.

32 years later, the same church songs still resonate, and in the background, I can hear the sound of Paul writing his letters.

I too will continue to write letters with heart, considering the recipient, though now they may remain unread.